Where I want to be?

This is the same question I often asked myself lately. Where I want to be? It’s a formidable question I find difficult in answering, tougher than problems in algebra.

I have met people whose vision for theirselves is clearer than a bluesky. They know which way to go, what they want and what to do. I envy them like a child jealous of a toy. I wonder how they are able to be firm of the things they want and which road to take. When I asked them how did they know, There answers would mostly revolve around knowing theirselves and their passion.

It striked me, it felt like I was lost all along. I realized that in my eagerness to know how to do everything, learning all sorts of crafts and skills, I was slowly becoming a jack of all trades yet a master to none. I used to think being versatile is actually a good thing, yes sure it is and I still think it is an advantage but one should have a core skill or talent that should continually be honed and developed, one that you can honestly say you are good at and from then you can start with a sound plan for a career to pursue and decide where you life is heading.

One of the best way to answer this is to decipher what I really want, anything that is relevant to my passion and something I will never get tired of doing. But still it leads me to a hundred different choices. It’s hard to choose when all of the choices seems right and you seem to like every single choice available. You can’t choose all, in life not everyone is given the chance to choose all of the above.

As of writing, I realized that all I need is take risks and be courageous. Yes that’s it! The courage to choose and the faith to believe I made the right choice. If only courage can be contained in a pill like an over the counter medicine sold at the side of every grocery racks, I would definitely fill a basket.

I may not be there yet but one thing I’m very sure, no matter what choices I will make and road to take, I want to be a person whose success can help shed light and inspiration to everyone. In God’s perfect time I know I will find my own niche in an industry I rightfully belong.

The good side of pretending

I wish I could tell you I’m genuinely happy. Well, I’m trying my best to be happy and look at the brighter side of life. Some days I find it challenging to pull myself together, paint that smile and act like there’s nothing wrong. I believe I have the gift to convince people I’m happy even though I’m completely shattered inside.  I mastered the art of pretending to be happy just because my job requires me to look happy as possible. I’m starting to use it on my advantage and it helps.

I learned that you don’t have the obligation to always let people know of how you really feel for the reason they might use it against you. There are people who find vulnerability as a weakness and when they figured out your one, you’ll be their next victim and prey you by trying to inflict pain and see you feeling unstable and miserable. Guess what? You can win the fight, give them a battle they’ll regret. How? Just be totally happy! It’s that simple.  Don’t get affected by everything they are throwing at you and the pain they are trying to caused you.

Sometimes you need to be a little insensitive not with the feelings of others but with your own . They are just squeezing the worst in you not knowing through their actions they are slowly revealing the worst in them and their capricious side.  One way or another you’ve helped them discover more of their self, the monster in them. Brilliant! Give them a little mystery, be tough and let them wonder why.

I once read an article that says “pretending to be happy will eventually make you really happy” even by just simply smiling. I don’t know the exact science for it,  but it has something to do with endorphins. That is enough reason to always convince yourself to be happy even when everything seems bleak and unbearable. Happiness is a choice and a decision you have to make.

Could you count how many times I mentioned the word happy? It’s one of the few words that is irreplaceable in the dictionary, nothing would best describe happiness but happy itself.

Speak happy and you’ll be happy!

Be happy, it’s contagious.

 

What’s new? A lot. Read on to find out!

StephanieB_MakeItHappen

I’m 23 years old now and not at my best yet. I’m still working on being my own masterpiece.

Trying my best to live independent as possible. It’s hard but I guess it pays that I’ll learn earlier.

I still believe that by being different would get me somewhere. I’ll prove you, you’ll see!

I’m currently a Financial Advisor. I was sent for training in Makati for almost a month and it was life changing. I had a deeper understanding of savings and investment, its importance and how it can help us in achieving our life goals.  And I’m resigning, see details below.

I just finished writing my resignation letter. I know, I’ve been through this for so many times already. Believe me, it’s not that easy to write one. It feels like saying goodbye to someone in a proper and less emotional way. Well, that’s hard for me because I easily get attached with people. I’m not good with goodbyes.

I felt that as I grow older, I need stability. Big word that needs much bigger actions. I know I have to work for it and the first step is to carefully choose a job that would provide me stability and growth at the same time. Can’t believe that’s one of my concerns now. #YoungAdult

I’m currently obsessed with Korean food particularly bibimbap. I’m more cautious on the food I eat since I know it can directly affect my overall health. less sugar, less salt.

Speaking of health? I jog not regularly but almost every other day. Take note of the word ‘almost’. I’m starting to feel even better with myself now. I like it when the early morning sun shines and strikes me. Vitamin D!

I’m currently listening to Coldplay. How could I have known them just now? The Scientist is my favorite among all of their songs. The lyrics speaks well. Have you ever felt like the song was actually written just for you?

I’m reading The Alchemist and hoping I could finish it. I rarely finish a book which reminds me that I have to cut this “update” post short since I still have a book to read and a self that needs rest.

Denisse the Dreamer.

 

 

Say hi!

Hi! I literally can’t think of a better title that would somehow look pleasant and honestly don’t know what to share on my first post. Probably, I’ll just start why I decided to have a new blog, just in case someone in this big world might want to know. Actually I decided to have a new blog to “start new beginning” Did I just say that? I know, it’s redundant, and it’s how I feel lately. It’s like I’ve been running in circles, chasing something I’m not sure about, looking for things I don’t even know exactly what, and exploring life uncertainties matched with uncanny attitude. Please tell me, you’ve been through it as well? It would comfort my soul somehow.

Expect that I will be sharing more about my self compared from my Tumblr. It’s refreshing that I finally have the guts to share more and open up about things I rarely let people know. It will be more about me this time.  I just hope I’ll be more sensible now. 

And hey, my tumblr is not deleted and don’t have plans of deleting it either. It would be my timeline to see how I used to think and to know it there is any scale of improvement from then until now.

Denisse