I guess it’s time for me to share a piece of my own to everyone, a reality of what I’ve been going through ever since and be more open about myself and my struggles in this fight where I can’t seem to win. I’ve been wanting to share this but my inner self is holding back because I fear people would judge and reject me. Well I hope not. Now, I finally have the courage to accept the situation and face it without hesitations and apprehensions.
And yes, this is my acne story. (If you’re currently eating might as well finish your food before your stomach gets upset with the things you are about to read.)
I started having pimples when I was in second year highschool which I find pretty normal since it’s the time when your hormones are changing and all the related adolescence stuff explanation. I didn’t look at it as a problem not until when I reached third year highschool and my face started to swell, with several pimples all over my face, blackheads starts to appear, pimple marks are too visible and a few zits that already caused scars on my face. I felt worried. I didn’t know what to do.
I consulted my friends and was given tons of advises from the basic “take enough rest”, “drink glutathione”, “use perla”, “apply panoxyl” and even “ask for your sister’s used napkin and wipe the blood on your face” Yes, it’s as disgusting as that. You know, highschool.
I followed all their advices except the last one of course. I also tried almost all kinds of soaps, toner and creams, from the cheapest to the most expensive still my pimples did not disappear. I even felt it was more aggravated, probably because of constantly changing of facial products. I felt anxious. I wanted to get rid of it because a.) It doesn’t look good b.) I’m starting to admire someone and having a pimple would make me less noticeable and c.) Who loves pimple anyway?
I reached fourth year highschool and things got worst. My face is as red as tomato, huge pimples with puss on it, acne marks and scars are already visible some even with blood. Prom and graduation came, still all these imperfections are on my face. That is the reason I never really enjoyed highschool that much. I lost my self confidence. It affected me so much. I felt inadequate.
I started searching for the best remedy, didn’t eat sweets and did whatever it takes to somehow improve my face. Luckily, a friend advised me to try the “dalacin c formula”. It’s not costly and easy to prepare. It worked wonders for me, pimples starts to clear and my complexion improved. The miracle lasted for more than 5 years. My self confidence was renewed, started to receive “you look good” compliments, I felt better and was able to bounce back again. That was by far my glory days! I even won a pageant and several competitions. It’s not that I’m bragging, just trying to make a point. But I guess, all good things just have to end. My pimples had their revenge and this time, even more tougher and stronger “pimple formula” that my “dalacin c formula” can’t cope up with it. I was left wondering what just happened, I can’t even think of living that “pimpled” life again. The pain and agony of going through it again, I just cant take it!
Here’s a photo when “dalacin c formula” seems to go well with my face.
Living a “pimpled face” is never easy. Not everyone knows this, but I went through depression. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I felt not good enough, I felt so insecure and down that I came to a point of attempting suicide for so many times. Yes, you read it right. I know, you might think it’s too shallow. I know not everyone will understand, that’s also the reason why I didn’t share this to my friends not even my family. But for me and the people living with acne the struggle is damn real, the pain and suffering of having all these puss!
It’s even harder for me because in the industry I belong, looking well groomed and being confident is very important and having acne is of no good! People I work with won’t notice this but I’m honestly just pushing myself to be confident and put on that fake smile to look as happy as possible simply because my job requires me to be, but behind that smile and that oh so confident guy lies all my insecurities and a broken confidence. As of writing, I have 7 new pimples that just popped up and guess what, I have a hosting job tomorrow. Now, how am I supposed to feel good about myself with all of these zits!
I hope I have a better story to tell you on my next post. As for now, join me in my 90 days to clear skin!
By the way, this is how I look now. (Obviously, no filter)
If you’ve been through the same thing, kindly post a comment, it will be comforting to know that I’m not alone in this battle.